My tweets

• Tue, 09:49: RT @refugeingrief: the trees won't ask "how are you REALLY?" #grief http://t.co/A3NNjKlWHy
• Tue, 09:53: Just realized that the child is not wearing pants. No wonder she's in such a good mood. #Momming

What The Fates Allow

There are many things that should be this Christmas. Should be but are not. I am desperate not to be melancholy about it. Desperate to sit in the glow of Christmas tree lights and feel as lucky as I know I am. A warm house, bills paid, a few simple gifts for my beautiful, healthy children. This is the goodness of a life well lived, whether or not it is Christmas. Yes, of course, there is an ache for those I am missing, but...

I focus on now. Cut wrapping paper; fold and tape. The Ronettes finish up singing Sleigh Ride and another song comes on the radio. Bing Crosby croons, urging me to hold on to these quiet, happy moments I already know. It is Christmas, after all. It is meant to be merry.

He keeps singing and my heart gets heavier instead of lighter. I can't help it. I want to help it, you know?

- See more at: http://www.runningnekkid.com/content/what_fates_allow#sthash.cmT9dBEF.dpuf